What it Means to be Broken
by Naasad
Summary: After Kadavo, Rex is having trouble sleeping, and Ahsoka tries to help. NO PAIRINGS - well, you could take it as a pairing if you wanted to, but it's not meant that way.


Rex sat in his chair, facing the door, pistols in his lap, refusing to sleep. If Kix saw him, he would have his sorry shebs dragged to the medbay and pumped so full of medication he would be unconscious for a week. But he wouldn't – couldn't – give into the temptation, the lull of false security.

There was a knock at his door, and he quickly took another swallow of kaf, willing the energy into his system. "Enter."

A pair of montrals peeked in, and Ahsoka followed. "Hey, Rex. You okay?"

"I'm fine, Commander."

"Ahsoka," the Padawan insisted.

Rex nodded once. "I'm fine, Ahsoka."

Ahsoka's brow furrowed as she scrutinized his appearance, and he mentally squirmed under her gaze. "No, you're not. What's wrong?"

Rex inwardly groaned. The girl had too much compassion. "It's nothing."

"Clearly not. When was the last time you slept?"

"Commander…"

"If I have to, I'll - "

"Order me to?" Rex asked harshly.

Ahsoka smiled sweetly. "Oh, no, of course, not. I was going to say I'll sic the medics on you."

"No."

"Hey, Kix?" Ahsoka asked into her comm.

"No!" Rex practically dove for the device, falling flat on his face in the process.

Ahsoka smirked. "Talk, Captain."

Rex glared. "Fine."

"Yes, Commander?" Kix asked then.

"Never mind, Lieutenant. False alarm."

"Are you sure?"

Ahsoka glanced at Rex, who was trying to recover his dignity. "Yep. Thanks, though!" She shut off the comm, then turned to the Captain. "Well?"

"You're horrible."

Ahsoka laughed. "Just helping you get the help you need. Come on, talk to me." She sat on the edge of the bunk in the corner and patted the spot next to her invitingly.

Rex glanced down doubtfully, then sighed and sat reluctantly.

"Start from the beginning."

Rex looked down, finding his boots suddenly very interesting. "Kadavo," he finally said.

Ahsoka let loose a string of curses in Togruti and Mando'a.

Rex chuckled. "What was that for?"

Ahsoka shook her head. "The hutuunla, chakaarla slavers, that's what!"

Rex nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry, you were trying to tell me something."

"Yeah…."

"Don't back down, now, Rex. Kix is still waiting in the wings," Ahsoka teased.

Rex gave her an irritated glare. "As I was saying…."

Ahsoka nodded and folded her legs under her.

"They… Well, the General and I were their 'guests of honor', special treatment and all."

Ahsoka sat patiently, waiting for him to be ready.

Rex took a deep, shaky breath. "They came in the middle of the night, whenever I was sleeping. Dragged me out, pinned me down…" He put his head in his hands, unwilling to continue.

"What did they do, Rex?" Ahsoka asked softly.

Rex shook his head. "It's nothing, Commander. It's really nothing. It should be nothing."

"Rex…."

"They only beat me, a little worse than the General, because they didn't need me alive. But I couldn't move, couldn't defend myself. At all."

Ahsoka put a tentative hand on his shoulder and rested her cheek on his pauldron.

"If I fall asleep, they may come again. No, I tell myself, I'm on the Resolute, I'm safe. I'm far away from them, and most of them are dead, too." Rex sighed, heavily, as if trying to expel all his pain and fear with one breath. "They… broke me." He laughed bitterly. "They broke Captain Rex, CT-7567, of the 501st Legion."

"From what I understand, breaking people was their specialty."

Rex looked down at the little Togruta on his shoulder. "So it was…. But I can't be broken – I have to be strong. For my men, my brothers… my aliit."

"Broken doesn't mean weak," Ahsoka argued softly. "Broken means becoming stronger. It means picking up the pieces, putting them back together, and reinforcing them. If you can do that, no one can touch you."

Rex looked back down at the floor.

Ahsoka sighed. "Hold me, Rex."

Rex looked up sharply as she wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. He kept his gaze fixed on her montrals, then slowly, slowly wrapped his arms around her, resting his face in the crook of her neck. He breathed in her scent, her musky, spicy scent that spoke of home and warmth and safety.

"Even strong men cry, Rex," she whispered as they held eachother.

And that was all the invitation his stubborn, treacherous heart needed, as first one tear fell, then another, then another, until there was a steady stream. He took steady breaths, not wanting to fall apart in front of his commanding officer. But, no, right now she was his friend, wasn't she? His breath hitched, and he collapsed, sobbing, letting it all out, all the pain – from Slick to Umbara to Kadavo, he let it all go.

Ahsoka held him, rubbing circles on his armored back, sensing his distress, doing all she could to alieve it. "You're alive," she murmured when his heaving sobs grew calmer. "You're alive, and you're strong. You've lived to fight another day. Oyacy bal dral."

With one last, heavy sigh, Rex straightened, wiping away his tears. "Oyacy bal dral," he repeated once more. "'Alive and strong'. Who's been teaching you Mando'a?"

Ahsoka shrugged. "I thought it would be fun to talk with you troopers behind Master's back," she admitted.

Rex chuckled, then glanced at his pillow. "Sleep could still mean danger. You never know."

Ahsoka put a hand on the side of his face. "I think you know, Rex. Go on, take a nap. I'll watch over the Resolute while you're occupied."

Rex nodded slowly. "I don't have a choice in the matter, do I?"

Ahsoka chuckled. "Sure you have a choice. The medbay or your bunk, it's that simple."

Rex smiled and laid down hesitantly. Once he was horizontal, he froze. "Ahsoka?" he asked, hating how weak he sounded.

Ahsoka looked back. "Yes, Rex?"

"Could you…?"

Ahsoka smiled and reached over to squeeze his hand. "Don't worry, Rex. I'll keep the nightmares at bay."

…oOo…

 _ **A/N: Hi. This just randomly popped into my head. I've been kind of on a TCW bend, lately, just set the filters to "published within the last week", and you'll see what I mean. I hoped you enjoyed it. Please review! Reviews are an author's lifeblood. Even if you hated it, just don't be pointlessly rude. :)**_

 _ **See you around!**_

 _ **Namarië!**_

 _ **~River**_


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